An Endless Cycle
by Trickster In The Shadows
Summary: But Thor and Loki's goals were to very different from each other as day and night but none of them knew the other's goal would leave them in an endless cycle.


And Endless Cycle

Both Thor and Loki have their own personal goals they hope to achieve. Both men had something they were striving for. Each of them had an aim they struggled to reach. They both wanted something that they knew they may never get.

But Thor and Loki's goals were to very different from each other as day and night and none of them knew the other's goal would leave them in an endless cycle.

Thor only wanted to have his brother, the one he loved, back.

In this he wanted the person he grew up with to return to him. He needed it. He needed his brother like the sun needs the moon. He needed to know his brother was alright and that he was right again. He wanted Loki to forget his poisonous dream and return to Asgard as his brother not a prisoner. He only wanted the true man he knew his brother was to return to him once again.

He couldn't stand knowing that Loki was out there spreading lies, plotting mayhem and desiring power and rein. He couldn't stand knowing that Loki was doing this all alone without someone to tell him he was wrong in all this, even though, somehow, Loki had convinced himself that this was all right. He didn't want his brother to be the villain in a story where he could be a hero.

And maybe most of the motive behind his one goal was that he didn't want Loki to hate him. He wanted Loki to love him as they had when they were young, when they were true brothers. He wanted to know that the next time Loki looked at Thor he would not glare at him with hard, cold and frozen eyes as he spat harsh words. That instead, Loki would smile, maybe even laugh, and that his eyes would like with joy and happiness. He wanted, needed, Loki to return the gesture when Thor placed his hand on the nape of his brothers neck.

He needed to have his brother's love and he would do anything to receive it. He would follow Loki, destroy his plans for domination, stop his quick silver tongue and ruin any attempts he took to hurt the people of Midgard and rule them. He would do anything in his power to defeat Loki in his evil acts and schemes. He would do it to make sure Loki would not become truly evil, to make sure that he could reach through to the heart he knew his brother could still feel with.

But no matter what he seemed to do, Loki would only hate him more. No matter what words Thor spoke to his brother Loki would leave him with even more hate in his mind. No matter what actions Thor took to reach his brother, Loki always left with more hate in is heart. No matter what Thor did to find the man Loki was before all the madness, nothing worked, and Loki's attempts at destruction would grow better, stronger and more successful.

All for Loki had a very different goal indeed.

Loki's goal was to finally make Thor, his _dear_ brother, hate his as much as any other man, woman or God did. He needed this like the moon needs the sun. He needed to know that and make the God of Thunder despised and loath the man that was one his false brother. He wanted Thor to forget the times they spent as children and for him to judge him unfairly as all the others had.

For Loki wanted and needed this for his own good. He believed that if Thor hated him like all the others, mortals or Gods, that what he was doing would hurt less if his brother did not love him so much. It would be so much easier to know that Thor thought like the others and that he did not care. It would make it so much simpler if his brother was not in pain on Loki's pursuit towards his less important goal. It would make it easier for Thor to strike the final blow and end Loki. It would easier for him, with an uncaring heart, to stop Loki and never let him leave, only to cause more trouble. It would make the stabbing pain in Loki's own cold heart at Thor's deceived and betrayed face lessen to a dull aching bruise on his chest.

Bu no matter what Loki seemed to try and do Thor's feelings could not be changed. Loki had attempted everything. He had hurt his precious Midgard. He had told many terrible lies. He had scheme plans to conquer and defeat. But nothing,_ nothing_, ever changed Thor and his one goal. He could not even begin to change how Thor viewed him, how Thor, no matter what, seemed to come back to him with kind words to lure him back to the man he was before.

And Loki cannot even understand why Thor continues his pointless and hopeless dream. Why does he continue to try and save Loki when he would never return to him as a brother? Why does she continue to try and persuade Loki when Loki will never end his plans and mischief? Thor must know that his attempts at Loki's redemption are wasted and will never work.

Loki cannot understand why Thor would continue. What is it that makes Thor so strong when he speaks to Loki, a passion and sadness in his eyes, as he begs Loki to return with him to Asgard? Could it be a trick? No, Loki would know and Thor is not that well of an actor. Could it be that Thor loves Midgard that must? No, Thor did love Earth but there seemed to be something else in his voice that could not be for the love of a planet.

_Could it be his brother loved him?_

The thought had entered Loki's head many times, though unintentionally. His subconscious seemed to feed him these words against his minds wishes. But of course the answer was no. No, Thor would not do these acts out of love. Maybe in the beginning he may have but after all that Loki had done, after all his lies, after all the hurt Loki caused, Thor's love couldn't have stretched that far. Loki knew love couldn't stretch that far. Nit was a useless emotion and one that could not have survived his evil acts and wants. Love simply couldn't be the reason. _Could it?_

And so Thor and Loki's endless cycle went on. Thor trying to reach his brother and Loki trying to make the other hate him with the same passion that he loved him with. Thor's attempted to end Loki's trickery would fail and Loki's attempts to change his brother's views would also fail. Both men would be hurt, both men would be brought to the point of tear but they would always be oblivious to the other's goal.

Thor and Loki, once true brothers now loving enemies, were forever doomed to a painful and miserable cycle of never ending hate and heart aching love.


End file.
